We’re cheapskates. In fact, if you appear up that phrase in the dictionary, you are going to come across our mugs plastered there. Not our faces. Our mugs. The kinds we consume coffee out of every single morning. With “cheap” scrawled on a person of them and the other bearing a hand-drawn photograph of a pair of roller skates. Admittedly, they’re a bit really hard to make out since the felt idea pen we applied — we’d by no means fork out extra to have them skillfully emblazoned — had about long gone dry, and we hardly ever, ever swap nearly anything unless we totally have to.
Cuz we’re cheapskates, don’t forget?
So when we saw the headline on the magazine we examine at the dentist’s place of work — you did not assume we’d truly pay for a membership, did you? — inviting us to acquire their “are you a cheapskate” quiz, we had been intrigued. For it was theoretically probable — even though very not likely — even professional misers like us may stumble across a penny-pinching system we’d somehow formerly ignored that was really worth incorporating to our repertoire. So with stubby pencil in hand — even a millimeter of graphite is too considerably to discard — we turned to web site 56 to mark our solutions.
What a rip.
Instead of the Jeff Foxworthy-motivated “You may possibly be a tightwad if…” that we envisioned, it was crammed with numerous alternative questions about all kinds of high priced buys and undertakings. Like what to do with the $700 work out bike you just acquired if it goes on sale a 7 days later. And exactly where to keep when likely on a week-long destination trip to a wedding where by resort inns charge $300 for each night time. We burst out laughing. We have been around the block a time or two.
And we know trick thoughts when we see them.
You have to get up fairly early in the morning if you want to pull the wool above our eyes. Workout bikes? Resorts? C’mon now! Do those people items even exist? And on the off-possibility they do, there’s the money angle. Dropping seven Franklins on a little something you’re supposed to pedal that does not go anywhere? And two grand plus to snooze in a considerably-off mattress at night time? We thought this was supposed to be a cheapskate quiz.
What kind of wacky tobacky experienced these goobers gotten into in any case?
None of it designed any sense. Until we lastly ran across a dilemma we could in fact relate to. Vacations. And the childhood recollections came flooding again. Each summertime we’d eagerly pack our bags — brown paper ones we’d pulled out of the bin at the neighborhood recycling heart — with all the essentials we required for our yearly excursion. And then we’d set out. All the way from our rooms at 1 end of the property to the kitchen at the other. Where by we’d devote the next 7 days reclining towards the refrigerator doorway — we did not have a fridge only the doorway — and bask in the heat glow of the early morning sunrise.
Life just don’t get better than that.
Frankly, this quiz was starting to tick us off. Get the issue about how to control your foodstuff finances. Having before shopping, shopping for store brands, shopping on-line — totally out to lunch. There’s only a person right reply. Inhaling the aroma of what is cooking at the area Burger Doodle right until the hunger pangs go away.
Effectively, tallying up our score introduced poor information. We’d unsuccessful. Miserably. Our reign as Cheapskate Champs was around. Until eventually the reward problem gave us a shot at redemption. What month was the greatest for getting a fantastic deal on bedsheets — July, Oct or January? We smiled. Even Skinflint 101 dropouts experienced discovered this just one in kindergarten.
What’s a bedsheet?
Talk Back with Doug Spade and Mike Clement is heard every single Saturday morning from 9 a.m. to midday Japanese Time on Excitement 102.5 FM and online at www.dougspade.com and www.lenconnect.com.
This write-up initially appeared on The Each day Telegram: Communicate Again: We’re so low cost, we reuse the coffee grounds